My Published Articles

[Satire] Wait for Uber After Festival Lasts Longer Than Festival

Originally published in The Hard Times on October 19, 2022 CHICAGO — Local Pandemonium Fest attendee Sam Garcia waited longer for an Uber to pick them up than it took the festival to begin, end, and break down most of the stages, impatient sources confirmed. “I mean, I paid $250 and the drivers keep canceling.…

by charliehcarey

[Satire] Fan of the Most Popular Metal Band in the World Upset Other People Are Listening to Them

Originally published in The Hard Times on August 15, 2022 CHICAGO — Local metalhead Rust Jenkins expressed his disgust that several people he knows began listening to his favorite underground metal band following the conclusion of the fourth season of “Stranger Things,” confirmed sources close to the situation. “It’s like nothing else matters,” said Jenkins…

by charliehcarey

Machine Gun Kelly Forgot About His Fans and Writes For the Haters

Machine Gun Kelly desperately wants to be a controversial figure in the alternative music scene. His latest album, Mainstream Sellout, forgets about his fans and is directed entirely to the haters, making sure they know he wrote this whole album to prove he doesn’t care what they have to say.  Most of the album, which…

by charliehcarey

Charli XCX Sells Out in Style

In February, Charli XCX tweeted, “People be mad that i’m testing the major label system an art piece while still making bops… and honestly i love it,” on Friday, Charli proved that with the release of Crash. In her 5th album with Atlantic, she makes sure we know that she is a weirdo that still…

by charliehcarey

SOUR proves Olivia Rodrigo is not a one hit wonder

Originally published on radiodepaul.com on May 21st, 2021 Four months after the explosive chart topper that was “driver’s license,” Olivia Rodrigo’s debut album is finally here. SOUR is an album about a breakup where the other person has moved on and Rodrigo won’t let you forget it. The production is incredible, Rodrigo’s vocals knock it out of…

by charliehcarey

Beyond the controversy, Tramp Stamps’ music just isn’t good

Originally published on the Radio DePaul website on April 21, 2021 The problem with Tramp Stamps isn’t that they are industry plants, it’s that their music isn’t good. A new band called Tramp Stamps started gaining views on a TikTok they posted of themselves lip syncing to their new song I’d Rather Die, a move that is pretty…

by charliehcarey

Taylor Swift’s Fearless hits every nostalgic button

Originally posted on radiodepaul.com When I was in middle school, my mom had a CD of Taylor Swift’s Fearless album in her car. Every time we went anywhere, the car would always start playing that album. It went with us everywhere — from school every morning to moving across the country to the hospital when my brother…

by charliehcarey

OPINION: ‘Feel-good stories’ don’t make me feel good

Originally published in the DePaulia on February 22, 2021 A teen gave up her entire college savings to help her mom pay rent. A man walks 21 miles to work every day with a smile on his face. A doctor forgives $650,000 of life saving medical treatment fees. This kind of feel-good journalism always seems to pop up, hoping to…

by charliehcarey

How to beat doomscrolling

Originally published in the DePaulia on October 30, 2020 You just finished your work for the day. You crawl into bed and decide to quickly check your social media apps before going to sleep. You open Twitter, see some terrible news, and need to know more. You start scrolling, feeling worse with each ‘like’ and…

by charliehcarey

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